Hi Sunflowers,

Well, i apologise for not posting anything after my intro. I started this blog when I was feeling ok. However, these past couple of weeks? A big fat mess. I couldn’t really put what i feel into words, but then again, for this purpose i have to. I’ll try to post more often and in case when I’m supposed to be writing a post but I wasn’t feeling ok, I’ll just have to force myself to.

To start, I haven’t been to my classes. A shocker? Guess not haha. I feel like a class that i have just triggers everything. When i realised this i debated to myself if i should tell my psychologist about this. Back story: ive never directly talked to my psychologist. even back when i first had depression. i usually talk about what i feel to my mom and she’ll just ask my psychologist on what to do. So yea i got really anxious on wanting to ask her. i planned it on a Monday, to anxious and told myself “eh, i’ll try tomorrow”. Tuesday comes, “Im too scared, tomorrow would be better”. Wednesday, you guessed it, nope.. Thursday came and i Whatsapp-ed my psychologist in the evening. Like 9 minutes after, she responded. She asked me what makes me feel scared and how did this “scared” feeling made me feel (mind you, she was talking in Malay language and idk how to directly translate that. Byelingual lol)